Like dancing I know I am not one of the best dancers but with training I believe I can afford a jig. Tango is by far the most arresting dance I’ve ever tried. By arresting, i mean what other partner accomplish through unique roles, not what we are able to stumble through. These roles of men leading and women supporting, properly executed, give the impression that there are no roles at all. It's not obvious that anyone is leading or supporting. What you witness is the fruit of their abilities, which is delicious. You witness two people mustering their talent, power, and sensuality to create a level of physical and emotional intimacy that cannot be created by an individual dancer. He steps forth and leads with intention; she supports his intention, enhancing their shared desire to create something grand. He leans into her, and she into him. Technically it's leadership. But practically, his behavior looks more like guidance, provision, and care with style. Advanced tango dancers, as in advanced relationships, ad lib their way across the floor because there are no shoe prints outlined in white to follow. They move by the impulses of their hearts, by the room's physical borders, around others in their path, and by the direction of his firm hand and her receptive body. As in marriage, someone has to guide, or they will fall on one another. It would just be a matter of time before everyone on the dance floor fell into a heap of twisted ankles and angry words. Her support and receptivity are not degrading. She glows with dignity. She honors him with donations of her trust. His lead is not stern or overbearing. He exudes reverence and, in doing so, cherishes her.
So who is a gentleman? A gentleman respects a lady. He is kind, well- mannered, gentle, unselfish, and loves unconditionally. A gentleman is committed to being a promise seeker, a promise maker, and a promise keeper. If you are not ready to fully commit then don’t make any promises. A young adult, with a little boy by his side, took a walk through a forest. Suddenly he stopped and pointed to four plants close at hand. The first was just beginning to peep above the ground, the second had rooted itself pretty well into the earth, and the third was a small shrub, while the fourth was a full-sized tree. The dude said to his young companion, 'Pull up the first plant.' The boy did so eagerly, using only his fingers.
'Now pull up the second.' The boy obeyed but found the task more difficult.’ Do the same with the third,' he urged. The boy had to use all his strength to uproot it.’ Now,' said the youth, 'try your hand with the fourth.' The pupil put his arms around the trunk of the tall tree and couldn't even shake its leaves. 'This, my nephew, is just what happens with our bad habits. When they are young, we can remove them readily; but when they are old, it's hard to uproot them, though we pray and struggle ever so sincerely.'"1Peter 1:13-14
Many times when we think about habits, we usually think about them in the negative sense. We think about things that have become a stronghold in our lives that have become a hindrance and we are struggling to overcome them. Habits can be both good and bad. When you do something continually over a period of time, it takes root in your life and it becomes second nature. You do it without even thinking.
As I was thinking about that I remembered the goals I have set for my life this year. Wouldn’t it be a good thing if my goals were ingrained in my lifestyle such that they were habits that I develop? In that regard then, one of my main goals this year should be to ingrain my goals to become daily habits that way it’s a lot easier keeping up to see them become a reality. Habits are the steering wheel that determines the direction in which our life goes. The steering wheel can get you where you want to go but it can also get you where you do not want to go. It all depends on who is behind the wheel. Take control of it and steer your life in the direction you
During your infantry stages of your relationship, there is bliss, exchange of gifts and everything is centered towards you but as time lapses, the garment of relationship begins to frail and soon you hit the plateau. In regard to my experience with my niece, ladies love consistency in relationships, the minute there is a lapse in the things that you used to enjoy together, suspicion and discontentment creeps in. You have to set your goals in relationships and see them through. If you are not the romantic kind make it clear by doing everything in moderation and maintain it. How we let our relationship grow maters a lot, if its loving and buying gifts, lets do them always till they become part of us.
As the man in the relationship, give direction and set the standards bearing in mind that its not always about you as a matter of fact the relationship always has a third party in it- God. When other people's actions hurt or annoy us, what can we do? When we simply can't get someone close to us to be reasonable, where do we turn? We either try to make the other person change through force or manipulation, or we learn to keep our distance. No wonder modern people have trouble attaining intimacy in relationships!
With Christ, we have an alternative way of life. We are no longer two people trying to get our own way. In a Christian relationship, both partners are concerned with discovering and following God's way. On one hand, we have a reason for calling on the other person to change based on the will of God. On the other hand, we have an obligation to be willing to change ourselves in accordance with the will of God. Although we could still disagree about what God wants at times, at least we have some basis for agreement other than who has the most power. Finally, in Christ we also have a basis for grace in relationships, which means we can forgive negatives in our spouse-something we may do in secular relationships if we judge it to be expedient, but without any other reason.
The paradigm of Christian couples living under the authority of God includes benefits and sacrifices for both partners. Most of the sacrifices are in the area of ego and selfishness. The benefits are in the areas of closeness, the gratification of being used by God, and the joy of loving deeply. In addition to the general idea of basing a marriage on the will of God, Scripture teaches that the husband should be the spiritual "head" in marriage. What does this mean? Headship is a troubling concept in our day, and we need to understand it in context.
Being the "head" in the biblical sense means the husband is responsible to initiate love and self-sacrifice for the well-being of his wife. It does not mean the husband must be spiritually older than his wife, nor does it give the husband a license to insist on his own way. He is only to call for God's way. However, faithful exegesis of the relevant passages will show that God affirms male leadership in the home. Remember, leadership in the biblical context is servant leadership. Paul said husbands should "love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25) This is the kind of leadership Christ demonstrated when he let himself be nailed on a cross for us. Jesus could be very authoritative, but he did not come to selfishly boss people around. He said, "Even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45) When Jesus gives us a directive, it is not because he enjoys controlling us, but because he is concerned for our welfare. He also extends an amazing level of freedom to his followers, allowing us to defy his will and still continue our relationship without rejection. He will discipline us for our good, but he will never reject us. (Hebrews 13:5)
Coming under such self-denying leadership poses no threat to our happiness. A woman who submits to the servant leadership of a mature Christian man should be letting herself in for a life where her husband devotes himself to providing for her needs, protecting her and (yes) directing her at times. A servant leader will not insist on his way in areas where it is not possible to know objectively what God wants. He will call for his wife to follow Christ along with himself, but will graciously allow her to refuse his suggestions often. Like Jesus, he will not compel obedience, but will seek to win it through persuasion and love. The Lord doesn't force us to follow him; he wants us to follow willingly. Like Christ, the Christian husband is to lead the way in demonstrating a humble commitment to God's will rather than insisting on his own will. Christian lady should never follow morally wrong directives from the dude. The principle of contingent or conditional obedience is well understood when it comes to secular authorities as in Daniel 2:1-18; Acts 4:19, 20; 5:29. Some people argue that wives should obey their husbands in an uncontingent and unqualified way! The text often used to justify this position is 1 Peter 3:5,6 which refers to Sarah's obedience to Abraham with approval. Based on this passage, it is argued that even when Sarah lied to Pharaoh by saying she was Abraham's sister (and nearly had to commit adultery as a result) she was doing the right thing. However, the passage does not condone this incident, but only commends her attitude. In fact, God will hold individuals responsible for wrong they do, even if they were ordered to do it, as the incident in Acts 4:19, 20 demonstrate. Notice also that the incident to which 1 Peter 3 refers involves a sin of omission, not one of commission. The statement in vs. 1 that wives should obey husbands even if they are disobedient to the faith means that the husband himself is disobedient, not that his directives are morally wrong. Dudes(toms) take the steering wheel and give direction and be a leader and a vessel willing to be used by God to change lives of the people we love .we should be able to evaluate the impacts of the relationship in our lives, if there is no change then think again. With God, even the old dogs can learn a new trick! Always Remember; to your friend, loyalty; to your enemy, forgiveness; to your boss, service; to a child, a good example; to your parents, gratitude and devotion; to your mate, love and faithfulness; to all men and women, charity; and To God, your life. This is a journey leading to marriage so dudes remember that you should be the priest, provider and the protector in your family
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